My Body – For Better, For Worse…(Part One)

Weds 4th Feb:

 

I have spent the best part of this week covered in a rash, various bits of my body swollen, most obviously my face. My system screamed into red alert during a course of antibiotics, flooding my body with histamine, plumping out my skin until uncomfortably stretched. The rash has surfaced like some unspeakable plague from the depths, my skin sore and tender to touch. A puffy stranger, drowsy and vague from anti-histamine, has been staring back at me from the mirror. On the Piriton box it tells me not to operate machinery. I look as if I am caught up in my own thoughts but it’s an achievement to express one lucid sentence; language feels like a pointless struggle; it’s not that I have ceased talking but when I do, I feel as if I am reaching deeply into a big, black sack, grasping clumsily in order to express the simplest of things. One tiny pill, every four hours and my head like a damp bog; my Blog, a blank page.

 

Just when I thought enough time had passed for the problem to ease, my pelvis has joined the party, a fleshy rubber ring tightly encircles my lower body, the swelling tightening up across my abdomen and down into my groin. Anxiety has successfully broken through the inner mizzle; I have experienced allergic reactions before, had swelling before, but never as extreme as this…It feels frightening to have so little control.

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