The Heart of Home

I have been blessed with some wonderful friends. Two of them – the very lovely Tracey and Ian – have shown enormous kindness putting me up whilst I have been finding my feet. Without this, life would have been such a struggle and I remain eternally grateful for their continued love and support. Separation is a tough thing without those who love you being there; they become the temporary emotional scaffolding that keeps you upright and relatively stable at a time when the ground beneath you shifts dramatically; when both life and you feel like the’re in danger of collapsing.

This week I have secured my very own home, although I have to wait a wee while to move in. It is quite a moment for me, having never had a home of my own, always having lived with someone. This simple yet momentous move will be the beginning of a completely new stage in my life; one I have no expectations of; one I feel completely open to let develop as it may. I know that amongst the excitement there is a little trepidation. Will it feel lonely and empty? Will I? After a life-time of living with others, I am about to find out.

Luckily, I have those I love close by – some very close by! – and so I know I will never be truly stranded. This balance between being with others and being alone is one we all have to explore, even when we co-habit. We are all individuals, and no matter how much we might love or feel close to another, we need to feel happy with ourselves, our aloneness. Being together and being alone do not have to be mutually exclusive; we can experience both, each enriching the other. This is my hope.

And then there is the home you find in others – whether you live with them or not – that sense of knowing, of being known and loved, that really needs no bricks or mortar to give it substance. When you have both a home that shelters you, and a love that does that too, you have everything…

1 Comment

  1. Gabriella said,

    November 2, 2011 at 2:28 pm

    Hooray for you beloved Maria!!! All the very best for you in your new home and on your new journey! May you continue to ‘have everything’ in all goodness and blessed abundance!
    I LOVE YOU!!! Gabriella xox

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